And the pain lives on.
My heart just felt like it had been ripped out.
CNN Breaking news on my laptop: Heath Ledger found dead.
I bonded with that guy . . . with the Ennis Del Mar in "Brokeback Mountain.”
I was that same age in the 60’s. I didn’t have the guts to live my true identity.
Most of the scenes in that movie were filmed out west of Calgary, Canada. I grew up in Calgary. That home-sick scenery made the story even more compelling to me.
I had read the book several times. Have a copy of the movie script. But I could only watch it once. The pain too intense. My children refusing to see it. The DVD is still in its plastic shrink wrap.
My friend from ‘The Saunter’s Journal,” http://saunterersjournal.blogspot.com/ wrote a couple of weeks ago:
“Speaking of death & dying, I've always believed that when mourning we actually feel sorry for ourselves as other people's deaths only bring greater awareness of our own imminent passing. Very selfish exercise, when you come to think of it, but it must have some redeeming quality.”
Redeeming quality?
Death?
Dying?
And now there are two dead from Brokeback Mountain.
And the pain lives on.
The pain of Brokeback Mountain.
The pain of what that story revealed.
The pain within me.
And the selfish exercise of mourning makes me sick at heart.
And as tragic as the lives of Enis and his soul-mate were, it wrenches the pain within me that I have tried my best to deny.
The Refectory Manager
CNN Breaking news on my laptop: Heath Ledger found dead.
I bonded with that guy . . . with the Ennis Del Mar in "Brokeback Mountain.”
I was that same age in the 60’s. I didn’t have the guts to live my true identity.
Most of the scenes in that movie were filmed out west of Calgary, Canada. I grew up in Calgary. That home-sick scenery made the story even more compelling to me.
I had read the book several times. Have a copy of the movie script. But I could only watch it once. The pain too intense. My children refusing to see it. The DVD is still in its plastic shrink wrap.
My friend from ‘The Saunter’s Journal,” http://saunterersjournal.blogspot.com/ wrote a couple of weeks ago:
“Speaking of death & dying, I've always believed that when mourning we actually feel sorry for ourselves as other people's deaths only bring greater awareness of our own imminent passing. Very selfish exercise, when you come to think of it, but it must have some redeeming quality.”
Redeeming quality?
Death?
Dying?
And now there are two dead from Brokeback Mountain.
And the pain lives on.
The pain of Brokeback Mountain.
The pain of what that story revealed.
The pain within me.
And the selfish exercise of mourning makes me sick at heart.
And as tragic as the lives of Enis and his soul-mate were, it wrenches the pain within me that I have tried my best to deny.
The Refectory Manager
posted by The Refectory Manager | 6:48 PM
3 Comments:
I've been thinking about that paragraph you quoted. I even deleted it from that blog post at one point, but then decided to put it back in. I may have been too harsh and judgmental in what I characterized as the inherent selfishness of mourning, I can see that now (although I still feel there is some truth to it).
But I do stick by the redeeming qualities of mourning. Those who mourn are, by vagaries of life, those who are left alive, they live to tell the story of those who passed away - and their own.
Perhaps I'm being too simplistic, but I see mourning as an opportunity to celebrate life. I think that was what I meant by 'redeeming quality.'
I thank for the information, now I will not commit such error.
I suggest you to visit a site on which there is a lot of information on this question.
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